When I was in school, I had to write a paper in which I had to take a stance on abortion. I was very uncomfortable with the assigned topic. The paper required me to closely research both sides of the issue as well as all of the reasons women have abortions. Then, I had to choose a side, pro or anti. I was told if I chose pro, I had to support all of the reasons for abortion, even as a means of birth control. If I chose the anti side, I had to never allow an abortion, even if it meant to save the mother’s life, the child would die after birth anyway, or it was not a definite, but a possible side effect for a life saving procedure of the mother.
Abortion is such a complicated issue, but my instinct was to say anti. However, as a mom, I could not imagine having to carry a child for nine months knowing that your child will not live after birth. For example, some babies never develop brains, hearts, lungs, and/or other much needed organs. Because of the complication of the abortion topic, and the fact that I had been assigned the topic, I procrastinated horribly on the paper. I had very low self-efficacy on the project. I did not think I would be able to get the paper done, and was hardly motivated to get it done. I did not believe that I would be able to write the paper because I was unable to take a stance. I never became intrinsically motivated for the paper and quickly began to lose what little extrinsic motivation that I had.
I had to fake my way through the paper, which I still struggle with today. The attribution of why I learned nothing with the topic is because the research made me more confused than I personally had been. I knew that I would not have an abortion if told I needed one, because that is what I had gone through during the pregnancy of my second son, who by the way is perfectly normal and healthy regardless of the doctors’ estimations. However, I could not decide if it was wrong for a mother whose child never developed a brain, Anencephaly.